Now The Vikings first invaded Britain in AD 793 and last invaded in 1066 when William the Conqueror became King of England after the Battle of Hastings.
The Third and final invasion happened in the 92nd minute as Olaf The Great chased down a lost cause from a long ball and nicked it passed the keeper,
poking the ball around the defender and keeper from the 18 yard line, it rolled and it bobbled as we saw a Heatonian defender’s shadow engulf the 6 yard box,
was it salvation??
or was it disaster?
Would it be penalties??
Or Would Olaf The Great be the hero??
The ball rolled defiantly over the painted line to a resounding Chester roar and 2-2..
‘He-ro!! He-ro!!! Daylight come and I wanna go home’ 😌
But then a Heatonian attack looked to have undone us once again, as the ball fell to the opposition attacker inside the Chester box and bosh a sledge hammer of a shot towards goal….
Despair, devastation or divine intervention I hear you ask🤔
The Yellow Panther rose up, his hind legs tensed, ready to fire those fast twitch myofibrils into action….
it was poetry in motion from the teenager,
I have undercrackers that are older than this Gargantuan of the Goal but they can’t perform miracles like we saw tonight!
Boom, The Panther took the hit and absorbed the blast wave of kinetic molecules into his body, brave and as resolute as they come, he batted it away like he was Babe Ruth hitting that home run for the New York Yankees in the fifth inning of Game 3 of the 1932 World Series, in Chicago.
The whistle blew for time.
It was squeaky bum time, sorry🤔
I mean penalties…
Captain Mazzinator stepped up,
With a talismanic aura glowing like ‘ready brek’ he smashed the ball into the goal, Shearer-Esque and 1-0…
By the time we had slotted the 2nd goal we were looking good for the win….
But in true England style we missed the next 3 pens😱
Leaving the tie at 2-2 and sudden death.
Up stepped a man well known for keeping Chester Town FC running -Due to his payment of exorbitant fines over the years..
As Ban took to the penalty spot he said in whispered tones
‘tonight Matthew I’m gonna be
Lionel Andrés Messi’..
And with that he slotted down the middle, as assuredly as David Cameron was at The Brexit Remain vote back in the day🤔
Crouchy McBan had become the saviour of Chester Town FC!
But no, my abacus had embarrassed me…
The Yellow Panther would need to stop the final Heatonian penalty to assure us of Quarter final glory….remember he had already repelled 3 penalties through mind games and guile 🤔
I couldn’t watch… mainly cos Phil’s battery had run out on his phone😳
The striker ran up and hit the pen low to the keeper’s right with some stink on it..
We winced and glared in equal amounts, The Panther leapt as if his Life depended upon it.
We Rejoiced as The Panther once again deflected the ball to safety… The Open top bus would have to wait as The Young Panther was out late tonight and almost past his bedtime 😳
Victorious and 3-2 on pens🙌
Never ahead in the game, but never behind in their hearts, that’s Chester Town for ya!!