Sunday, December 9

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Chester-le-Feet March on

Chester le Street v Jarrow

17.11.2018

A Cold winters day was in the offing at Moor Park, made all the more difficult as it was against a tough Jarrow team who had recently knocked  Billingham out the cup, the table toppers Nonetheless 😳

This was gonna be Rocky v Ivan Drago

The 2018 remastered version in 8K vision and Dolby SurroundSound with popcorn break for good measure..

My Father of 83 was by my side for his first Chester Town match, born the year before The Jarrow March, he was in for a treat today.

Back in ‘36 The Jarrow March was famous for the initial sense of failure among the marchers, and then in subsequent years It became recognised by historians as a defining event of the 1930s which led the way to Social Reform.
Enough with the history lesson!!
I can hear Ronnie Honeyball cry….
patience man🤨
there is a parallel to be drawn here..
But I shall not spoil the story,
If you are sitting comfortably I shall
Begin..
Cole Simpson, son of GK coach Dean
Simpson was The young mascot today.
His smile beamed from ear to ear,
as he ran off the pitch into his Mother’s arms….
Happy Birthday to the young Cestrian Chap.
He didn’t know it, but that little chap was about to witness giants of men, gladiators and heroes battle to the final seconds on Moor Park today.
A Slow start ensued with a heavy duty Jarrow pressure.
A raking cross into our box and a close range Bullet shot, volleyed first time and BOOM!
Keeper Cresswell, brave as a Lion from Lambton Lion Park…
How he did not to suffer
a severe hematoma to his internal organs I’ll never know!
A head on meteoric impact like this was always likely to end badly…OMG!!
 1-0 down 😱
Scotty ran like a bat out of Hell on the right wing, and made 3 quick,
penetrating runs thru the defence..
one was intercepted but
‘2 outta 3 ain’t bad’ 🤔
Josh blocked another dangerous attack
Whilst making a great run from defence
Linking well with Hepp to unleash a confident midfield masterclass of passing.
Incoming!!!
As a bouncing bomb of a ball caused ructions at the back….
Crouchy McBan just missed the difficult defensive header allowing  Dicka a chance to show his talents, as he
Nodded the ball calmly to Cresswell
with aplomb…
Crouchy McBan then made a good
header and tackled easily with his
Super extendable legs….
The Mazzinator then carved a ball to Jo who passed the baton onto Scotty…
He was steaming towards goal in a flash,
at Warp factor 9, afterburners on,
But a good save from the keeper
Stopped some binary equilibrium being restored.
A rare shaft of sunlight appeared on the
pitch before our very eyes…
as if God was saying, ‘Howay lads there’s light at the end of the tunnel man’
The heat of the sun and righteousness were much needed in equal amounts.
Meanwhile, Scotty was assisting himself literally,
A nod on by himself and then a sprint to retrieve the hallowed sphere..
He was working tirelessly for the team.
Jarrow Pressured us with free kicks
They came in high and low but like The mighty Hoover Dam we would not
be breached.
Dicka was in the Chester box, a man as strong as an Ox…
But also like a particularly intimidating sheep dog moving the dangerous sheep away from the goal…
‘Cum by laad’ 🤔
Rhys took a great touch taming the ball from height,
Josh passed the ball effortlessly to Scotty and he took the shot quickly,
Ooohhhh just passed post!🙏
Dicka hit a long ball pin perfect to Crouchy McBan’s head, the perfect knock on material,
But no anticipation to Ban’s touch left us looking like strangers,
and the Jarrow keeper untroubled.
A dangerous ball into out box bounced luckily for Jarrow, Dicka tracked it with eyes of steel, like he was set to Defcon 1 taking down an intercontinental ballistic missile.
He blocked a certain goal attempt, Absolutely Magnificent man!
Scotty and Joe were industrious with some great work on the right wing,
battling to win back the ball and forcing a corner.
The Candy Man took one look at the box, and smashed the ball onto
Crouchy McBan’s heed..
Without his 40inch inside leg measurement, Ban would never have reached the arcing, menacing leather missile… Thump!!
Euphoria erupted at Moor Park!
The Stands creaked, Ronnie squealed with pleasure like Babe the pig..
Crouchy McBan had brought home the bacon, but where was ‘the robot🤔’
1-1 we were back in it…
The Mazzinator looked determined and made a stratospheric clearance, The RyanAir 737 from Malaga was in danger of being taken down with the force of Maz’s hoof!
Cresswell took the ball bravely under extreme pressure as the Jarrow forward looked to have close physical relations with him.
Normally Cresswell would have expected sweet talk, dinner and possibly some soft music, but no!!
there was none of that man….
just a harsh body slam to the ground for his troubles🤨
Then The Manager’s dreams of a
Chesterlona came to fruition as we started to play one touch Possession football, Jarrow were chasing shadows.
Just imagine how long Ban’s shadow was  in that winter sun🤣
Captain Maz was turning it on now,
He had started slowly, but was now like Robert de Niro talking Italian..
classy and without question the enforcer.
‘You talkin’ to me?’
Just as we gained a foothold
It was all too soon 2-1..
As a Jarrow bullet shot, Worldie number 2 and heart break for Chester Town just before half time an all…🙄
Keeper had no chance.. 20 yarder howitzer off the under side of the bar.
Jo and  Hepp worked well together but the finish lacked enough of the outside of Hepp’s boot to slice its way into the top corner.
Jo’s next touch was a touch of a Swiss watch maker, Delicate and precise under pressure…
Then a scary floater from Jarrow onto the bar…. ooh!!!
Half time and a visit to the Apothecary for some much needed Valium😳
Big Craig had sold me a stash of raffle tickets on the promise that if I rubbed him it would bring me luck…
Not falling for that one again😫
The golden girls produced the hot pastry fest once again, a life saver for a man recovering from a session with Marc, Joe and Ronnie…
All too soon it was game on and
3-1 down, after an early second half dagger to the heart 😱
My stomach jumped as if unsettled at the devastating news, I sensed heartburn to add to the heart ache,
this was definitely not on the cards??
The flying Scotsman steamed his way past the Jarrow defence and shot powerfully, it deflected and arced its way just past the post….
Then we won a Free kick for The Mazzinator to line up 25 yards from goal…
His 1000 yard stare meant business,
It left the talismanic captain’s boot as if in a hurry to leave the local postcode!
What a Great shot…. beckham-esque.
The Keeper floated grasping at fresh air until the click of finger nails on ball deflected  it over and a corner, great save, unlucky Maz.
Josh began foraging forward with a great run and won a corner,
Perhaps Back post was the right ball…🤔
Crouchy McBan then stepped up and blocked the ball like a 20 stone American line backer!!
The Chester Refrigerator
William ‘Ban’ Perry….  awesome man!
Jack Oliver on for The Hepp…
Hendo on for The Candyman.
Then a weird phenomenon appeared before the full attendance crowd as the blood moon arose over Moor Park like a Portent of doom😱
The Head Warlock Joe Burlison must
have been in the Backroom mixing up
his voodoo Potions🤔
Could it work??
Crouchy McBan then shot 10 yards out in the middle of a wild mele ….
there seemed more than 20 bodies in the box for goodness sake.
A corner ensued and more importantly Hope had been re-established within our ranks🙏
Phil and Marc began to warm up their vocal chords…
we were perched like 3 Vultures on the side of a cliff face waiting for a carcass to leap onto… such was the intensity of our posture and gaze.
 The Mazzinator picked his spot,
Close enough to the keeper but not too close….
The cross was like the Paragon Diamond.
Perfect, flawless and without comparison…
Fortunately Dicka had brought his trampoline with him,
Nothing else could explain the mighty leap as he smashed a header towards goal..
We were already off to book the open top bus!
Then with an intuitive instant reaction
the Jarrowvian Keeper pulled off a superb save 😱
The Cat leapt like he was on a hot tin roof,
Clawing the ball out of the goal,
Caps doffed all around the ground.
Josh ignored the mayhem around him,
And thought back to his school days in English Literature and Rudyard Kipling..
‘If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs’….
He calmly slotted the rebound from a tight angle and Made it 3-2.
Andy Dufresne said it best I think…
Remember, Red, Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies’
Jack made a great chase and block down the line… Chester now had the thing we all crave… ‘Belief’
Eventually a tally of 27 fouls against Chester was rewarded with a yellow card😌 Hurrah!!!
It only took The courageous Mazzinator having his nose smashed across his face with a size 12 Jarrowvian boot!
Jack went into top gear, he was bearing down on goal with a fire in his eyes then the tackle came in…
He had glory on his mind, Sky Sports interviews, WAGs throwing themselves at him after the game,
and dare he dream, an interview with pictures in The Chester Advertiser🤔
But then A Perfectly timed, last second tackle came in like an Ashi Waza Judo leg sweep, the Jack-trigger was pulled but not completed as he tumbled into a muddy heap on the ground.
Then The Mazzinator went into the old school pile on mode… or was he playing Twister in the middle of the Park🤔??
As he took down the Jarrow midfielder
Legally, and bizarrely laid on top of him,
What a boy Maz… so creative🤔
It was like he had joined ranks with Dicka in a tag team WWF contest,
‘ in the blue corner weighing in at 320lbs is The Mazzinator’
He is a destroyer of men and now the
pile on expert 🤣
Jack then ran wild through the middle of the park, like a man trying to catch the elusive darlo 722 bus to the Toon…
and then the perfect pass to Jo in the box, corner ref!!
The Mazzinator, bearded, solid and intense….
Lashed the Exocet Corner to Crouchy Connor  McBan, a  polycephalic hybrid
formed of two men metamorphosised before our eyes, like a mythological Greek Leviathan,
as they combined to heroically smash a bullet header against the under side of the bar and 3-3
It was biblical, we were back, just like Lazarus!!
The roof came off!!
The team embraced, the crowd roared and Chester breathed a sigh of relief.
We had the smell of blood, and sensed the unimaginable victory was possible, the great escape music was playing in my head when the final whistle blew.
A sense of relief, pride and awe coursed through my veins… #ChesterFaithful
Ronnie Honeyball came to us seconds later smiling and singing a song,
I couldn’t smell alcohol so I assumed he was just high on Life, The Football Life.
Then to cap off a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon’s rollercoaster ride of emotions,
I was amused by a Jarrow fan
As he muttered on his wander out
of The Park ‘We wuz f*#%*# robbed!’
😂😂😂😂
To rob-
‘To take something by unlawful force’
Well he has a point🤣
The force was definitely strong in this one today😌

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