Sunday, December 9

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‘Chester-le-Peat’

Chester Town v Washington

1.12.2018
A Boggy dark wintery scene greeted the Hordes at Moor Park…
The Mazzinator was missing from the pitch today….
But He would be Back once again for the renegade master
D4 damager, power to the people
Yes Back once again for the renegade master
D4 damager, with the ill behavior…
Banned from play for too many passionate, intensive, life changing tackles…
it was gonna be a testing afternoon for the young man, not Maz you understand!
but the lad sitting next to him in the stands🤣
Chester would need
Commander Captain Deputy Dicka to step up and rally the troops!
Then the Lord said to Joah, 
 
 “Go into the ark with your whole family. 
(And they were many)
I know that you are a godly man among the people of today. 
 
Take eleven pairs of every kind of footballer with you. Take a male and a female of each kind. Take one pair of committee men, and also a pair of Golden girls to provide daily sustenance.
 
Also take 24 pairs of Football boots.
And 11 pairs of youth team players so
They can spread out again over the whole pitch( none of that bees round honey nonsense)
 
Seven days from now I will send rain on the Chester Town earth. 
It will rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I will destroy from the face of the earth every blade of grass I have made.”
It was weighing heavy on the mind of one Lord Burlison…. should we build a new clubhouse or an Ark for
god sake 😳
God replied to Joah in a dream…
‘Have faith Lord Burlison, continue to use your disciple Ronnie to fill In the potholes on the approach road, and clear the myriad of leaves,
for you then shall be delivered from evil’
The Easterly wind blew wildly and then the whistle followed, we were off!!!
Chester began with intent on a heavy pitch, a pitch so heavy it resembled the Mars terrain with a powerful 2.528 Gravitational pull….
To put it in perspective a 12 stone Maz would have weighed 30 stone in real terms!!😳
But Caps doffed all round to the green keepers for a sterling job,
Fortunately the use of Cameron Nichol’s out of use hair dryer saved the day,
As it’s huge power was unleashed upon the boggy Moor Park….
For some time the future of this game was hugely in doubt.
Chester spring into gear,
Without the Talismanic Mazzinator on board it was an opportunity for others to show leadership qualities…
Who would step forward 🤔
The weather beaten crowd stood up before kick off with arms aloft…..
‘Those who are about to battle
We Salute you’
One such Cestrian gladiator arose from the quagmire, resolute and defiant against the opposition…
No one was safe when The Meg was in the water….
And today’s Waterworld was his day…
raised as a young boy by Moby in the North Shields coastal waters,
 The Meg was all powerful in these condition…
Schumacher was referred to as
Die Watter-Meister,
Today Chester found theirs🤔
Kieran Megran which is of Gaelic and Michigan state origin meaning
‘the dark capable one…’
A quick look at his tan and his skills on the pitch will attest to the former.
An early foray into the Washington box by The Meg raised expectations
As he carved through the turf
as If looking for a juicy shoal of fish..
Quickly  a 1 v1  with the keeper ensued and a quick bullet shot scraped the post! Ooohhh……
In perfect formation, The Lancaster Bomber flew into action putting a lovely ball forward from midfield,
The defender took possession and moved towards the half way line…
With slight of foot Joe ‘Fagan’ Hailes picked his pocket like a seasoned pro….
Rounded the keeper and slotted with aplomb 1-0 to The Cestrians!
Euphoria as the shivering masses
Spluttered steaming clouds of carbon dioxide from their lungs….
all hail the Mighty Hailes 🙌🙌🙌
Before you could say ‘Smithy get a photo of uz for the back page of The Advertiser’ it was 2-0😳
The Meg was imperious once again,
Manicured, pristine, his gills were sucking in oxygen by the gallon….
he received a ball and held it up with consummate ease…
Laid it off to Hendo who’s laser sighted first timer picked out The Hepp….
(Yeah just like Michael Knight the 80s tv star ‘The Hoff’)
 ‘The Hepp’ rose like a ‘Fish Lot’ to deftly
Head an accurate thumper out of reach of the stranded keeper…
Cue Madness and deafening cries from
The Terraces…
Ronnie thought he was back in The Gallowgate in 1982, lifted from his feet as we cascaded down to the pitch side, carried aloft by the endorphin fuelled tsunami wave of Cestrians!!
Now at this stage we were looking canny…. we had all the tools out and were ready to hammer the opposition😉
But the gods had different ideas… They got their own tool kits out and threw the biggest spanner they could find into the works!
As a looping wicked deflection arced its way over Coombes-ba-yaah my lord..
Our oral cavities gaped,
collectively agog.
2-1…. 😱
Half Time and relief from the Wintery Ice Age which Chester had found itself in…
The winter of discontent was surely over🤔
As HMS Burlison manoeuvred his way through the pea soup fog,
He pulled up to port for some much needed Federation Ale…..
the weather looked more akin to
the hounds of the Baskervilles🤔
The 2nd half started with intensity and Chester has been set alight by Commander Wake’s oratory….
As The Meg and The Hoff, sorry….
The Hepp combined well,
with The Meg holding up
A midfield ball well and laying it off perfectly for The Hepp to bury it defiantly into the bottom corner 3-1 and breathing space!
The Hepp was dominating The opposition with such finishing prowess that Lord Burlison was awaiting Premiership offers flooding in,
much like the Watter that was bouncing of our heeds most of the day!
5 minutes to go and Chester were on the ascendancy….
I was singing ‘nothing’s gonna stop us
Now’ as Washington slammed in a very tidy finish from outside the box😱
3-2….
so much for a nice bit of jovial banter with the lads as we sauntered into 90
Minutes easy winners,
No, no, no…..
none of that piff paff…
And with seconds left on the clock it fell to The Hepp to seal it…..
A hatrick nonetheless!!
He obviously saw the state of the ball and thought,
‘ I divent fancy that muddy mother!!’
As he avoided the goal from close range,
He also avoided the chance to be thrown shoulder high, with ball in hand and  lofted proudly above the muddy Moor Park by his fellow gladiators…
The whistle blew and
The Cestrians stood battle worn,
hackie as Chimney sweeps
But Victorious….
The Chester Faithful gave a standing The Chester Faithful then gave a 
Standing ovation to their players,
chanting the words
 
‘nos semper esse victuros’
(We will always conquer) 
 
The Chester Faithful salute you... 
🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

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