Monday, March 1
Chester-le-Street, UK



Chester le Street Ladies v Morecambe Ladies
Commander Baz and Lieutenant Borthwick were at the helm today…
They were like Burt and Ernie, inseparable and committed to the one true cause…
A freezing winter’s day brought a testing environment for the Cestrian Ladies to perform in…
The pitch was soft and bobbles would be part and parcel today…
We started brightly with early attacking pressure.

An early piece of individual skill showed Morecambe what they were in store for, as Lizzie ‘The Top Cat’Thompson-Clarke (to give her full Sunday name) 😳

dinked an absolute beauty 20yds over the stranded keeper and 1-0…
Moor Park rattled with appreciation!
Then The Hockinator rose like a salmon heading up stream and nutted a firm header and 2-0, Euphoria ensued!
Nichole ‘The Giant Slayer’ slotted a beautiful diagonal ball from around 16 yards out… and 3-0!
We were on our way down to Victory Street you might know it,
adjacent to Champions Court
and Just along from the opening to
Can of Whup Ass Avenue.
Super Steph made some great runs on the left Wing, she moved like a leather seeking missile, like a remote controlled rocket…
She Hovered, scanned and bolted across the turf to wherever the ball was…
The Anna-conda then moved into the great sweeper role and covered the defensive line to snuff out a dangerous looking attack…
The Hockinator took a lovely touch on the move, not even taking a breath to compose herself,
Her incisive pass found The Giant Slayer who latched onto the ball, locked and loaded, photon torpedoes at the ready and moved stealthily into the box….
But  then Nichole was blocked before she could put some stink on the ball, alas no goal.. nobody muscles The Giant Slayer man😳, they would pay for that!
The Hockinator was like a pick pocket, pinching balls from the back pockets of any Morecambe player.
The Top Cat made some dangerous penetrating right wing runs, she was asking the questions but there were no answers!
Sarah used her strength to tackle like she was in a china shop….🤔
Very bullish!!
 and stopped the counter-attack.
We were resolute and thoroughly determined in our defence, the team moved as one, wave after wave dropped back and moved forward.. like the Starlings of Rome, we were in sequence and symbiotic.
The welcome Half time whistle sounded.
Subs on Amy and Lyndsey for
Super Steph and Jess.
 Rachel relieves Robyn in Goal as she wasn’t feeling at all healthy…
she had bravely fought on in the first half and successfully kept a clean Sheet under demanding circumstances.
Dr Brogan was ready to show Morecambe a clinic of her own,
Assured, never wasteful and deliberate of action….
always ready to be the catalyst of the next attack, the seed of the blossoming tsunami wave of Cestrian might…
Nichole to Anna-Great passing,
She was a law-son unto herself as she ran down the left wing and megged a helpless defender to set up The Giant Slayer, A twist of the hips, a drop of the shoulder and slot..😉
bottom corner 4-0 lovely controlled finish from the footballing dominatrix.
Dr Brogan again took masterful control of the situation as she broke the attack up,
She had a PHD in ‘getting amongst it’ you might say….
Super sub Lucy came on and made a  good tackle stopping the counterattack,
Jennifer Ellison having been released from filming the new series of ‘Friends’ decided that physical intervention was necessary as she took possession and passed slide rule to The Dragon Slayer, she was bored with Giants now and moved on to a new challenge… but sadly again we were rightly called off side!!😱
 then a nice run by Nichole into the box,  Left side and loitered until the inevitable tackle ensued, Chop!!
And she was booted down like some Brazilian street fighter, Penalty!
The intimidating figure hung over the ball, the keeper looked pensive,
Lieutenant Borthwick offered odds on where it was going….
The Penalty slotted bottom left and I was a pund poorer as Paddy ‘Power’ Borthwick  took my money the swine🙄  5-0.
Top Right corner next time Nichole🤨
hatrick-match ball and goodnight Vienna!
Wilkinson decided to put Morecambe to the sword 🤣
chipped the ball sublimely into
The Top Cat and wallop 6-0 a tidy finish low and left with power…
The rout was complete
Or was it?? 🤔
Sarah ‘Sterling’ Burn showed the masses gathered what a great dribble looks
Like as she rounded 2 players and created a dangerous attack.
The Anna-conda snaked her way thru the Morecambe midfield,
assured, great close
Control and confident on the ball..
She never gave it away and always used it to build a Cestrian attack…
caps doffed.
Dr Brogan was the rock at the back..
a clean sheet assured, she had the patience all Doctors need 🤨
Lucy was took out at the knees but bravely continued,
The Top Cat worked tirelessly down the right and passed 4 defenders on an amazing Messi-esque run!!
Think Alberto Tomba 1976 on the alp d’huez,
Think Giggsy semi final fa cup v Arsenal
Think Maradonna 86 v England(swine!)
a low powerful crossed ball but alas no finish was to be found…
Lucy scavenged and retrieved
Eventually coming to blows with a
50-50 ball.. like a head on car crash
The impact was monstrous!
She bravely stood tall and bang!
Took the incoming pressure wave….
A Morecambe Free kick was rapidly incoming, breaching our box but Dr Brogan’s header was defiantly fantastic.
The Final whistle and time to celebrate
A fine victory.
6-0 man
I fear there wasn’t much ‘sunshine or laughter all the while’ on the Morecambe bus home…
Chester Ladies put on a show today.

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