Sunday, January 20

News

Chester-le-Treat

Northallerton v Chester Town 

 
12.01.2019 
 
A massive game today….
3rd plays 4th, the proverbial 6 pointer! 
 
The Allertonian weather had not disappointed, cloudy and cold 
‘By eck it’s grim up north’ was almost 
Whispering through the trees as the wintery wind tried its best to separate my intercostals from my rib cage 
(one for Hayls)😉
 
A lot of history existed between these two teams, this game could help define our season as top table contenders or mid table mediocrity.. 
there was no putting any spin on it, 
It was simply like Dirk Hepp… 
Massive!! 😳
 
As Phillipoussis Cummingston was not available for Northallerton detail, 
I brought  In My ‘ever reliable’ Yorkshire connection in the form of 
Keith ‘Yorkshire Pudding’ Walker 
who’s famous colloquialisms always brought much hilarity around local stadia..
 
‘Do aaahh not lairk that!’ 
 
After sampling the chips
Drowning in curry sauce, downing a lovely pint of bowel-bashing brew,
It was time, the game was afoot…
 
The stats said it all… The Allertonians had played 11 home games 
won 10 and drawn 1…  
40 goals for – and only 10 against😳
yes that’s right for those quick minded devils amongst you, 
unbeaten at home!! 
 
that tells you all you need to know without me blathering on🤔
 
3 bells rang out by The town cryer, the 21 gun salute and the whistle was blown which meant only one thing🤔
 
Saturday afternoon Northern League Football was off on another rollercoaster ride of emotion, grab the sick bag and hold onto yer knickers cos it was gonna get messy🤔
 
The Undertaker, fresh from his traditional routine of a Raw 24ounce 
T-Bone steak breakfast, 
followed swiftly by a cathartic
 ‘back sack and crack’,
at the local Turkish barbers…😳
 
Decided to nail the first goal 12 minutes in with a deliberate Ronaldinho Strike…
lobbing Spunky from 40 yards!! 
 
It was a pure dagger to the Allertonian hearts as it was for The English in Shizuoka Stadium, Tokyo 2002.
 
The Undertaker’s similarities ended at that point, I mean nobody wants to see The Chester No.3 eating an apple through a tennis racket for God sake🙄
 
33mins in and The Flying Scott got a powerful low shot away, 
the keeper saving well with his outstretched leg…
Sacred bleu!!! 
 
It was definitely good kite weather today and The Flying Scotsman was Floating about all day, never stopped that lad…
Northallerton’s immediate retort was to bolt down to the other end to test The Italian Cat- Coomberaggio, 
As he saved well for the Cestrians😳
 
OMG how much longer could I take??
 
Half time ensued… the mercury gauge was clinging to a positive Celsius reading like a Makem clings to hopes of promotion😌
 
Commander Wake knew he had a challenge today, ‘The Northallerton Backlash’ was expected and no doubt would come at some point today…
 
As we kicked off the 2nd half we succumbed to a long ball over the top undoing the early first half efforts with an easy chance for The Allertonians as their Striker lobbed Coomberaggio right on the 47th minute 😳
 
1-1 That wasn’t what we were looking for🤔
 
Immediately Chester responded with a pressurised assault on The Allertonians… 
 
The Hepp and The Mazzinator bossed the midfield, with the Captain taking on the roll of Dolph Lundgren ‘you come in peace, you go in pieces!’ 
 
Elvis The King made a good impression in the midfield considering he had been on the pot all night eating burgers😳
These kids man, they are so resilient!
 
The Chester back line resembled ‘The Fab Four’, there was no holding hands but a chorus of ‘Let it Be’ rang out from 
 John Lyon, Paul Graver, George Dixon and Ringo McBan as they tried to lift the team to victory!🙌🙌
 
Olaf The Great came on for The Flying Scotsman to rapturous applause. 
 
The Destroyer Dicka took a nasty knock and was off injured…
The ‘Allertonians would be playing a 5 a side team at this rate!!
 
Greavesy came on for Dicka rolling back the years, since missing out on The World Cup in ‘66 Greavesy felt he had something to prove…
(Unfortunately The Saint wasn’t here today to see his great friend’s reformation) 
 
The Mazzinator stood over the free kick, poised, intense… Scottish eyes pierced through the dark cold dusky night… as he delivered a ball to the box which was pinpoint in accuracy. 
 
The Sheriff patiently stood in the box as he straightened his chaps and flicked his spurs..
In his head the voices were saying 
‘yeah this town ain’t big enough for the both of us’…..
 
As he rose like a Marks and Spencer’s Salmon en Croute,
the Sheriff felt the coursing Adrenalin through his veins, determined and forthright…
 the ball gravitated to him and with consummate ease he flicked a beauty of a header over the keeper to take The Cestrians into Euphoria and 2-1…🙌
 
The Mazzinator had already received a yellow card before another was dished out to him late in the 2nd half….
 
At 37 The Mazzinator is experienced, street wise/pitch wise call it how you like….
But to see a man feeding off his emotions is impressive no matter where it occurs, especially on a football pitch….
(although Commander Wake might not see it that way🤔)
 
Connor McMarron was simply preparing himself for
The transition in the years to come when he takes on World class UFC contenders in The Cage and anyone worthy of sharing the hallowed Cage within Madison Square Gardens.
 
 Captain Talisman left the pitch for an early bath, whilst the remaining Cestrians were left to battle out the last few minutes… 
 
Could The lads hold on🤔???
 
What a battle ensued for territory and possession, who wanted it more, 
Would we show weakness, No!! 
 
The whistle blew and we sank to our knees in thanks to the footballing gods….
 
The Cestrian Gladiators fought tooth and nail for 3 Well deserved points!! 
 
Level 3rd place looking good in the table, the away form continuing its northerly arcing line thru the graph of games played… 
10 wins out of 13 away 😳
outstanding! 
 
One negative which shrouded the game horribly was Crouchy McBan picking  up a late dodgy hip injury due to an Allertonian player running into it at head height😂
 
The BFG still managed to get off the pitch with the use of Ronnie’s Zimmerframe🤔
 
Thanks Ron. 
 
#TheChesterFaithful
 

Leave a Reply