Monday, March 1
Chester-le-Street, UK


Two’s company Three lifts the Crowd

Chester ladies v Leeds ladies


Chester ladies were blessed with sunshine from the off, the winter of discontent all forgotten about now.
A finer set of physiques you will not see, think race horses, think Honed muscle, think new hybrid of human beings…
Muscles ready to fast twitch into action, the myofibrils were adrenalised the game was afoot.. release The Kraken! 😳
The wind was punishing and against Us in the first half, but what did the gods have in store for us🤔
Alisha- The Shelvey of the team,
Play maker, marching like a Titan,
The Thor taking command,
but with much better hair than JonJo😉
Anna- like a Jaap Stam in defence,
She was very ‘Ashford and Simpson’
Solid as a rock..😉
Steph great forward balls on left wing
A Creator of chances, if a biblical
Chapter had been written for this lady it would read….
(Joshua 1:9)
From The book of Steph…
‘“Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God and The Chester faithful are with you wherever you go.” 🙌
Maddy was showing great feet,
Chiropodists gathered far and wide after hearing the rumours of them… 🤓
She dominated her position and made decisive clearances to midfield, snuffed out an attack like an unloved
Smokey tab end.
Brogan, a name that sends shivers down your C5 and C6…
I was expecting to see a Hugh Jackman-esque figure with Metal Tallons protruding forth🤔
I was not disappointed, a super-hero with similar qualities was riding the turf like Jesus on water… And her nails pristine..
Brogan showed pure class here
and a cruyf turn, losing the opposing attacker and getting her off the scent, brilliant!!
The crowd almost broke into a Mexican wave, the lack of adjoining supporters undermining my flaccid attempts at galvanising the crowd🙄
The crowd ooh’d and ahh’d,
Dave Winter and Joe Burlison gasped….
The New Chesterlona we had prayed for was coming to fruition..😌
 Brogan played the ball out with consummate ease, as if possessed by the spirit of Roberto Carlos,  or was it Roberta Flack🤔
‘The first time…ever I saw your Pace’🤣
 it was like watching el Classico..
Kacie was like a whippet chasing down the corner ball, covered every blade of grass that lass.
And then a Great corner ensued which just needed the slightest of touches as Nic The Giant Slayer..
She rose like a salmon at the back post, the crowd lifted themselves 6 inches off the plush polished oak seats and
Prayed for a Cestrian brow on ball…
A great leap, and In slow motion the ball parted Nic’s hair! Oohhh so close man,
So close….
Kacie made some great runs and had some marvellous positional play
Today, she was a catalyst to draw the team together, they jelled as if symbiotic.
It was 50-50 after 30mins… with the opposition putting up a strong challenge.
Laura, The Chester Keeper was like Fort Knox, great safe hands, a clean sheet was assured today…
It was as if she had sourced the gloves of Spider Woman.. she was anti-teflon😳
Amy placed the ball with intent,
The Free kick Floated beautifully,
a Da Vinci of a delivery onto
Laura’s Head and bang!!
like a ‘Yosser Hughes’ nutting the ball,
it knew who was boss!!! And 1-0!!
Chester ladies were floating like butterflies and stinging like bees..
The Opposition were on the ropes,
It was Tyson v Tinchy Stryder..
chances a plenty and could we make it 2-0🤔
Nic was taking the game by the scruff of…. errr 😳
well not even the neck,
Just about the scruff of every other body part you can name. 💪
imperious in stature, dominant and there ain’t nobody getting the better of this lass.
The opposition were pressing hard….
the Leeds Italian forward in full
Flow was an awesome sight to behold..
her shirt emblazoned with a name to strike fear into the Chester defenders
but The Cestrians held firm and resolute under immense pressure.
Half time and 1-0 happy days, could have been 3-0..
2nd half kicked off..
The temperature was more akin to
The Arctic!!
Once the Polar Bears had been shepherded off the pitch…
The game was underway…
Fresh legs came on Sarah and Haley
Fitted into Assistant Commander Borthwick’s Plans..
he was like Horatio Nelson….
Tactics and Chess-like moves came naturally to a man brought up solely on Turkish Kebabs and Phileas Fogg crisps!
He had travelled the world in 80 days but this victory was gonna be the new pinnacle of his career.
after an excellent cross
From Sarah,  The ever dangerous Nic volleyed like an Olga Corbett..
A Triple salchow and a perfect 10
into the net which immediately transported me back to the
Zinedine Zidane Goal
(2002 euro final…)
‘ watching and waiting, she adjusted her body and in one fluid movement pirouetted and caught it full on the volley with her right foot! ‘
A skyscraper of a volley,
Balance poise and bang!! 2-0!
Euphoria ensued… the supporting hordes rattled the very fibre of the concrete stands in appreciation.
Chester went for the juggler..
no it wasn’t Billy Smarts circus, 🙄
But Leed’s main artery.
Maddie took control and brilliantly assisted Kacie,
a touch of Ronaldo finesse,
 feet of Flatley and Swivelling hips of a matador.. ole’!!!
15 yards out She transformed
Into a Royal Mail lady,
as she airmailed  a first class spherical leather package into the big peg bag, Slot!! and 3-0….
We were surfing the crest of a wave…
The sonic boom roused from the crowd caused a tsunami wave into Chester splash park, several children were soaked right through man… 🙄
The Opposition went down to 10 men after an altercation involving a low punch to the back from the Leeds top sparrer Missy Marciano, we knew she was trouble as soon as she came on the pitch,  with a gum shield and taped gloves🤔 and raging..
 ‘say hello to my little friend!!’
Eventually she was counted out for 10 by the ref as she left the pitch to consider a new career in the UFC..
Borthwick QC kept calm during the melee, his 87 years of footballing experience standing him in good stead.
but Leeds began to put pressure on Chester…. 10 ladies became 15 as they swarmed forward looking for goals.
Amy took a brutal cannonball to the hand from point blank range,
would have finished off most punters..😩
It was the courage of a gladiator and the heart of a lion, The Chester Way.
Maddie received the ball 16yards out and decided to officially enter herself into the goal of the season comp!
But The spirit of Peter Bonetti was present…
‘The Cat’ pounced and grasped the looping shot with extended fingertips!
Hearts broken… celebrations dashed, sky interview cancelled and open-top bus put on the back burner 😩
Some staunch defending from Chester, Lauren putting the boot in where necessary and heading like a
Particularly determined Rhino..
Steph made numerous sorties down the left wing, great incisive runs and created chance after chance..
Laura The Tank Engine was sprinting as if on rails down the right wing… Chester were on the ascendancy.
Sarah- strong as an Ox, legs chiselled from the Sequoiadendron giganteum or The giant redwood trees of California.. only one winner to the ball there.
Brogan was a colossus in defence,
Assured and strong, with great decision making.
Lord Chancellor Borthwick looked a very happy man…
3-0 full time!! Great performance
Chester Ladies.

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